石
石兄
一、城市里淘汰下来的
你坐的是长途公共汽车，那破旧的车子，城市里淘汰下来的，在保养的极差的山区公路上，路面到处坑坑洼洼，从早起颠簸了十二个小时，来到这座南方山区的小县城。（《灵山》第一章）
The old bus is a city reject. After shaking in it for twelve hours on the potholed highway since early morning, you arrive in this mountain county town in the South.
评：“你坐的是长途公共汽车，那破旧的车子，城市里淘汰下来的”到英文里成了 The old bus is a city reject，高度概括，但丢掉了原句的许多细节。窃以为，翻译者不应该概括或者简化原作的描写。
二、寻找什么？
从车上下来的，或是从停车场走过来的人，男的是打着大包小包，女的抱着孩子。那空手什么包袱和篮子也不带的一帮子年轻人从口袋里掏出葵花籽，一个接一个扔进嘴里，又立即用嘴皮子把壳儿吐出来，吃得干净利落，还哔剥作响，那分忧闲，那种洒脱，自然是本地作风。这里是人家的故乡，活得没法不自在，祖祖辈辈根就扎在这块土地上，用不着你远道再来寻找。（《灵山》第一章）
People are getting off the bus or walking past, men humping sacks and women carrying babies. A crowd of youths, unhampered by sacks or baskets, have their hands free. They take sunflower seeds out of their pockets, toss them one at a time into their mouths and spit out the shells. With a loud crack the kernels are expertly eaten. To be leisurely and carefree is endemic to the place. They are locals and life has made them like this, they have been here for many generations and you wouldn't need to go looking anywhere else for them.
评：“用不着你远道再来寻找”，是说用不着离开家乡的人回来找自己的故乡，不是说要“你”找那些本地人。可是英文却把“他们”（本地人）当作寻找的对象。
三、独轮车，未必
而早先从此地出走的，那时候当然还没有这汽车站，甚至未必有汽车，水路得坐乌篷船，旱路可雇独轮车，实在没钱则靠两张脚底板。（《灵山》第一章）
The earliest to leave the place travelled by river in black canopy boats and overland in hired carts, or by foot if they didn't have the money. Of course at that time there were no buses and no bus stations.
评：“独轮车”译得不对。“汽车”和“汽车站”的关系是否就是and？“未必有”是“不一定有”，不是“没有”。改译：The earliest to leave the place travelled by river in black canopy boats and overland in hired wheelbarrows, or by foot if they didn't have the money, as there was no bus station, probably no buses either.
四、谁老了？
如今，只要还有口气在，那怕从太平洋的彼岸，又都纷纷回来了、坐的不是小卧车，就是带空调的大轿车。有发财了的，有出了名的，也有什么都不是，只因为老了，就又都往这里赶，到头来，谁又不怀念这片故土？（《灵山》第一章）
Nowadays, as long as they are still able to travel, they flock back home, even from the other side of the Pacific, arriving in cars or big air-conditioned coaches. The rich, the famous and the nothing in particular all hurry back because they are getting old. After all, who doesn't love the home of their ancestors?
评：“只因为老了”是说“什么都不是”的人，并没有把“发财了的”和“出了名的”包括在内。这是因为“只”表示从“什么都不是”的转折，而不是表示从“发财了”和“出了名”的转折。就是说，因为老了才回来的，是“什么都不是”的人，而不是“发财了的”和“出了名的”那两种人。英文却说三种人都老了（getting old）。
五、没动过什么念头？
［有发财了的，有出了名的，也有什么都不是，只因为老了，就又都往这里赶，到头来，谁又不怀念这片故土？］压根儿也没有动过念头死也不离开这片土地的，更理所当然，甩着手臂，来去都大声说笑，全无遮拦，语词还又那么软款，亲昵得动人心肠。（《灵山》第一章，引者注：［］内上下文的英译从略。）
They don't intend to stay so they walk around looking relaxed, talking and laughing loudly, and effusing fondness and affection for the place.
评：高先生给译者出了难题，“压根儿也没有动过念头死也不离开这片土地的”，没有动过什么念头？英文译者严格分析语法，判定“死也不离开这片土地”是“没有动过念头”的内容（或宾语），即“他们”不想不离开，“他们”不想呆在这儿，所以翻译成 they don't intend to stay。可是，考虑到原著灵活随便，甚至怪异的语言风格，“压根儿”一句也可以理解为两个短句构成的“无标点”句，即“压根儿也没有动过念头，死也不离开这片土地的”，而“动过念头”指“动过离开的念头”（如果想留下，还动什么念头？）。只是两个短句中间的逗号给省了。就是说，那些人是不想离开这片土地的。考虑到本句跟上文讲的是那些离开土地又回来探望的人相比较（“更理所当然”），所以，还是后一种理解合适。
六、女人家倒反不这样
熟人相见，也不学城里人那套虚礼，点个头，握个手。他们不是张口直呼其名，便从背后在对方的肩上猛击一掌，也还作兴往怀里一搂，不光是女人家同女人家，而女人家倒反不这样。（《灵山》第一章）
When friends meet they don't just give a nod or a handshake in the meaningless ritual of city people, but rather they shout the person's name or thump him on the back. Hugging is also common, but not for women.
评：“不光是女人家同女人家，而女人家倒反不这样”，看似乎矛盾，实际也说得通。意思是“往怀里一搂”并不限于女人之间，但是女人之间不如男人之间搂得那么亲热。因为不好译，所以就省略了“不光是女人家同女人家”，简单地译为 but not for women。
七、分外别致
这里的女人说话就更加细软，叫你听了止不住还瞟上一眼，那背朝你的扎着一块蓝印花布头巾，这头巾和头巾的扎法也世代相传，如今看来，分外别致。（《灵山》第一章）
The women here have lovely voices and you can't help taking a second look. The one with her back to you is wearing an indigo-print headscarf. This type of scarf, and how it's tied, dates back many generations but is seldom seen these days.
评：“分外别致”是说“有意思，有特色，特别，新奇”等。译者取“奇少”的意思，翻译成 is seldom seen these days，使英文读者以为那样的头巾和扎法在那里也是“不常见”的。但那样的头巾和扎法既然在那个地方世代相传，应该是很常见的。可以改为 is seldom seen elsewhere。
八、我的老公，你老公
［她们该是走亲友或回娘家的新鲜媳妇，可这里人媳妇专指的是儿子的老婆，要照北方老垮那样通称已婚的年轻妇女，立刻会招来一顿臭骂。］做了老婆的女人又把丈夫叫做老公，你的老公，我老公，这里人有这里人的语调，虽然都是炎黄子孙，同文同种。（《灵山》第一章）
On the other hand, a married woman calls her own husband laogong, yet your laogong and my laogong are both used. People here speak with a unique intonation even though they are descendants of the same legendary emperor and are of the same culture and race.
评：“你的老公，我老公”是举例说明女人怎么称呼自己和别人的丈夫，将其算为另一短句，不太妥当。又用有转折义和保留义的 yet 与前部分相连，更不对了。
九、这里
北方，这季节，已经是深秋。这里，暑热却并未退尽。太阳在落山之前，依然很有热力，照在身上，脊背也有些冒汗。（《灵山》第一章）
In the North it is already late autumn but the summer heat hasn't completely subsided. Before sunset, it is still quite hot in the sun and sweat starts running down your back.
评：似应在 summer heat 前或后加here，以跟“北方”对比。
十、内宾
连接待外国人专收外汇券的宾馆和只凭介绍信接待内宾的招待所和疗养院，更别说那些相争拉客的私人小客店，都以这块宝地的名字为标榜。（《灵山》第一章）
......and the name of the place is used in the trade names of all the "foreign exchange currency only" hotels for foreigners, the "locals with references only" hostels and sanatoriums, and of course the small private hotels competing for customers.
评：“内宾”可以是 locals （当地人），也可以是中国别的地方的人。
十一、名人题字
这里想必早晚也逃不脱这种盛况。你总算乘那些鲜艳夺目的亭台楼阁尚未修建，赶在记者的照相机和名人题字之前，你不免暗自庆幸，同时，又有些疑惑。（《灵山》第一章）
Sooner or later this place will also boom. but you're here before they put up the gaudy pavilions and terraces, before the reporters come with their cameras and before the celebrities come to put up plaques with their calligraphy. You can't help feeling rather pleased with yourself, and yet you're anxious.
评：“名人题字”不一定就是 the celebrities come to put up plaques with their calligraphy，名人也可以把题字从外地寄来、捎来。况且，“名人题字”应该跟“记者的照相机”并列，都是名词短语。可译为 celebrities' calligraphy。
十二、依稀可辨
清风徐来，凉爽而适意，石桥架在宽阔的河面上，桥上虽然是柏油路面，两边斑驳的石柱子上刻的猴子还依稀可辨，肯定很有一番年代了。（《灵山》第一章）
After that you come to a stone bridge: no body odour here, just a cool, refreshing breeze. The bridge spanning the broad river has a bitumen surface but the carved monkeys on the worn stone posts testify to its long history.
评：“依稀可辨”是否可译为 barely visible？
十三、两趟
桥头摆着两趟小吃摊子。你在左边吃一碗豆腐脑，那种细嫩可口作料齐全走街串巷到处叫卖一度绝迹如今又父业子传的豆腐脑，你在右边又吃了两个从炉膛里现夹出来热呼呼香喷喷的芝麻葱油烧饼，你还又在，在哪一边已经弄不清楚了，吃了一颗颗比珍珠大不了许多甜滋滋的酒酿元宵。（《灵山》第一章）
Two food stalls stand at the end of the bridge. In the one on the left you eat a bowl of bean curd, the smooth and tasty kind with all the right ingredients. Hawkers used to sell it in the streets and lanes but it completely disappeared for quite some years and has recently been revived as family enterprises. In the stall on the right you eat two delicious sesame-coated shallot pancakes, straight off the stove and piping-hot. Then at one of the stalls, you can't remember which, you eat a bowl of sweet yuanxiao dumplings broiled in rice wine. They are the size of large pearls.
评：“两趟小吃摊子”是两行小吃摊子，应该译为 two rows of food stalls。这点清楚以后，后面就好懂了。另外，中间没有标点的“那种鲜嫩可口.....父业子传的”修饰语，在英文中，也可以跟被修饰的“豆腐脑”放在一起。
十四、把什么压在了竹席子底下？
一床灰棉线毯子，不知是洗不干净还就是它本色，你压在竹席子底下，扔开了油腻的枕头，好在天热，你不必铺盖。（《灵山》第一章）
The cotton blanket is a suspicious grey - either it hasn't been washed properly or that's the original colour. You throw aside the greasy pillow from under the bamboo mat and luckily it's hot so you can do without the bedding.
评：“压在竹席子底下”的，是“毯子”。而“枕头”只是被“扔开”，没有被从竹席子底下拉出来。
十五、冲动
［你好久没有睡在这样的帐顶下了，你也早过了望着帐项可以睁眼暇想或是做梦的年纪，］今天不知道明天会有什么冲动，该见识的你都＆#0; [sic] 一领教了，你还要找寻什么？（《灵山》第一章）
Today, you can't know what traumas tomorrow will bring. You've learnt through experience everything you need to know. What else are you looking for?
评：“冲动”不是 traumas（创伤；心灵的创伤）。意思接近“激动”，可以翻译成 excitement 或者 impulse。
十六、有得吃喝
“敬灶神爷呢，多亏的他，我们才有得吃喝，”他说。（第二章）
"Thats for the God of the Cooking Stove, it's thanks to him that we can eat and drink," he says.
评：“有得吃喝”是不是 have things to eat and drink？
十七、颧骨
跳动的火光映照着他削瘦的面颊，高高的鼻梁和颧骨。（第二章）
The dancing light of the fire shines on his thin cheeks, the high bridge of his nose, and his cheekbones.
评：鼻梁和颧骨都高。如果说“胖胖的手和胳膊”，难道不是手和胳膊都胖吗？
十八、跳歌庄的
这山里还有没有跳歌庄的？他说他就会跳，早先是围着火塘，男男女女，一跳通宵达旦，后来取缔了。（第二章）
Do traditional song masters and dancers still exist here? He says he’s one of them. The men and women all used to form a circle around the fire and dance right through to daybreak, but later on it was banned.
评：masters who can do ring dance.
十九、后来就没有人唱了
“后来就没人唱了。现今又开始跳起来，不过，现今的年轻人会的不多，我还教过他们。”（第二章）
"No-one sings those anymore. People are doing the dances again but not many of the young people can do them, I'm teaching the dances to some of them."
评：“后来就没人唱了”还是过去的事，英译文应用过去时态。用现在时，跟下句“现今又开始跳起来”矛盾。
二十、回避
他还能念好多咒语，是猎人进山时使的法术，叫黑山法，或是叫邪术。他并不回避，他确信这种咒语能把野兽赶进设下的陷阱，或是让它踏上安的套子。（第二章）
He also knows incantations, the kind hunters use when they go into the mountains. They are called mountain black-magic or hexes and he has no qualms about using them. He really believes they can drive wild animals into pits or get them to step into snares.
评：他“不回避”的不是法术，而是告诉“我”他的想法。
二十一、绝境
破不了这法，脚就是迈不出这一步，就不断走回头路。于是，到天亮才发现不过在原地转圈。这还算好的，更糟的还能把人引向绝境，那就是死亡。（第二章）
If the spell isn’t broken the person’s feet don’t move forward and even if he keeps walking, he stays exactly where he started off. Only at daybreak does he discover that he has been going around in circles. That’s not so bad, the worst is when a person is led into a blind-alley: that means death.
评：译为 blind-alley (blind alley) 会使读者以为是走进真的死胡同。可改为 led to a hopeless situation。
二十二、这样而非那样
在我那个环境里，人总教导我生活是文学的源泉，文学又必须忠于生活，忠于生活的真实。而我的错误恰恰在于我脱离了生活，因而便违背了生活的真实，而生活的真实则不等于生活的表象，这生活的真实或者说生活的本质本应该是这样而非那样。而我所以违背了生活的真实就囚为我只罗列了生活中一系列的现象，当然不可能正确反映生活，结果只能走上歪曲现实的歧途。（第二章）
In those contaminated surroundings I was taught that life was the source of literature, that literature had to be faithful to life, faithful to real life. My mistake was that I had alienated myself from life and ended up turning my back on real life. However, real life is not the same as manifestations of life. Real life, or in other words the basic substance of life, should be the former and not the latter. I had gone against real life because I was simply stringing together life’s manifestations, so of course I wasn’t able to accurately portray life and in the end only succeeded in distorting reality.
评：“生活的真实或者说生活的本质本应该是这样而非那样”中的“这样”和“那样”是虚指，即“某一种情况”，并不是指上文中谈到的具体情况。用 the former and not the latter 让人以为是上文谈的情况。
二十三、这结论
他倒是挺坦诚，让我自己对比着看我先后拍的那两张全胸片，左肺第二肋间一块模糊的阴影蔓延到了气管壁。即使把左肺叶全部摘除也无济于事，这结论不言自明。（第二章）
He was quite frank and got me to compare the two chest X-rays taken on two separate occasions: a blurry shadow on the left lobe of the lung had spread along the second rib to the wall of the windpipe. It wouldn’t help even to have the whole of the left lobe removed. The outcome was obvious.
评：“这结论”是大夫通过检查所做的结论，不是病情发展的结果（outcome）。“这结论不言自明”应该是 that conclusion is self-evident。
你坐的是长途公共汽车，那破旧的车子，城市里淘汰下来的，在保养的极差的山区公路上，路面到处坑坑洼洼，从早起颠簸了十二个小时，来到这座南方山区的小县城。（《灵山》第一章）
The old bus is a city reject. After shaking in it for twelve hours on the potholed highway since early morning, you arrive in this mountain county town in the South.
评：“你坐的是长途公共汽车，那破旧的车子，城市里淘汰下来的”到英文里成了 The old bus is a city reject，高度概括，但丢掉了原句的许多细节。窃以为，翻译者不应该概括或者简化原作的描写。
二、寻找什么？
从车上下来的，或是从停车场走过来的人，男的是打着大包小包，女的抱着孩子。那空手什么包袱和篮子也不带的一帮子年轻人从口袋里掏出葵花籽，一个接一个扔进嘴里，又立即用嘴皮子把壳儿吐出来，吃得干净利落，还哔剥作响，那分忧闲，那种洒脱，自然是本地作风。这里是人家的故乡，活得没法不自在，祖祖辈辈根就扎在这块土地上，用不着你远道再来寻找。（《灵山》第一章）
People are getting off the bus or walking past, men humping sacks and women carrying babies. A crowd of youths, unhampered by sacks or baskets, have their hands free. They take sunflower seeds out of their pockets, toss them one at a time into their mouths and spit out the shells. With a loud crack the kernels are expertly eaten. To be leisurely and carefree is endemic to the place. They are locals and life has made them like this, they have been here for many generations and you wouldn't need to go looking anywhere else for them.
评：“用不着你远道再来寻找”，是说用不着离开家乡的人回来找自己的故乡，不是说要“你”找那些本地人。可是英文却把“他们”（本地人）当作寻找的对象。
三、独轮车，未必
而早先从此地出走的，那时候当然还没有这汽车站，甚至未必有汽车，水路得坐乌篷船，旱路可雇独轮车，实在没钱则靠两张脚底板。（《灵山》第一章）
The earliest to leave the place travelled by river in black canopy boats and overland in hired carts, or by foot if they didn't have the money. Of course at that time there were no buses and no bus stations.
评：“独轮车”译得不对。“汽车”和“汽车站”的关系是否就是and？“未必有”是“不一定有”，不是“没有”。改译：The earliest to leave the place travelled by river in black canopy boats and overland in hired wheelbarrows, or by foot if they didn't have the money, as there was no bus station, probably no buses either.
四、谁老了？
如今，只要还有口气在，那怕从太平洋的彼岸，又都纷纷回来了、坐的不是小卧车，就是带空调的大轿车。有发财了的，有出了名的，也有什么都不是，只因为老了，就又都往这里赶，到头来，谁又不怀念这片故土？（《灵山》第一章）
Nowadays, as long as they are still able to travel, they flock back home, even from the other side of the Pacific, arriving in cars or big air-conditioned coaches. The rich, the famous and the nothing in particular all hurry back because they are getting old. After all, who doesn't love the home of their ancestors?
评：“只因为老了”是说“什么都不是”的人，并没有把“发财了的”和“出了名的”包括在内。这是因为“只”表示从“什么都不是”的转折，而不是表示从“发财了”和“出了名”的转折。就是说，因为老了才回来的，是“什么都不是”的人，而不是“发财了的”和“出了名的”那两种人。英文却说三种人都老了（getting old）。
五、没动过什么念头？
［有发财了的，有出了名的，也有什么都不是，只因为老了，就又都往这里赶，到头来，谁又不怀念这片故土？］压根儿也没有动过念头死也不离开这片土地的，更理所当然，甩着手臂，来去都大声说笑，全无遮拦，语词还又那么软款，亲昵得动人心肠。（《灵山》第一章，引者注：［］内上下文的英译从略。）
They don't intend to stay so they walk around looking relaxed, talking and laughing loudly, and effusing fondness and affection for the place.
评：高先生给译者出了难题，“压根儿也没有动过念头死也不离开这片土地的”，没有动过什么念头？英文译者严格分析语法，判定“死也不离开这片土地”是“没有动过念头”的内容（或宾语），即“他们”不想不离开，“他们”不想呆在这儿，所以翻译成 they don't intend to stay。可是，考虑到原著灵活随便，甚至怪异的语言风格，“压根儿”一句也可以理解为两个短句构成的“无标点”句，即“压根儿也没有动过念头，死也不离开这片土地的”，而“动过念头”指“动过离开的念头”（如果想留下，还动什么念头？）。只是两个短句中间的逗号给省了。就是说，那些人是不想离开这片土地的。考虑到本句跟上文讲的是那些离开土地又回来探望的人相比较（“更理所当然”），所以，还是后一种理解合适。
六、女人家倒反不这样
熟人相见，也不学城里人那套虚礼，点个头，握个手。他们不是张口直呼其名，便从背后在对方的肩上猛击一掌，也还作兴往怀里一搂，不光是女人家同女人家，而女人家倒反不这样。（《灵山》第一章）
When friends meet they don't just give a nod or a handshake in the meaningless ritual of city people, but rather they shout the person's name or thump him on the back. Hugging is also common, but not for women.
评：“不光是女人家同女人家，而女人家倒反不这样”，看似乎矛盾，实际也说得通。意思是“往怀里一搂”并不限于女人之间，但是女人之间不如男人之间搂得那么亲热。因为不好译，所以就省略了“不光是女人家同女人家”，简单地译为 but not for women。
七、分外别致
这里的女人说话就更加细软，叫你听了止不住还瞟上一眼，那背朝你的扎着一块蓝印花布头巾，这头巾和头巾的扎法也世代相传，如今看来，分外别致。（《灵山》第一章）
The women here have lovely voices and you can't help taking a second look. The one with her back to you is wearing an indigo-print headscarf. This type of scarf, and how it's tied, dates back many generations but is seldom seen these days.
评：“分外别致”是说“有意思，有特色，特别，新奇”等。译者取“奇少”的意思，翻译成 is seldom seen these days，使英文读者以为那样的头巾和扎法在那里也是“不常见”的。但那样的头巾和扎法既然在那个地方世代相传，应该是很常见的。可以改为 is seldom seen elsewhere。
八、我的老公，你老公
［她们该是走亲友或回娘家的新鲜媳妇，可这里人媳妇专指的是儿子的老婆，要照北方老垮那样通称已婚的年轻妇女，立刻会招来一顿臭骂。］做了老婆的女人又把丈夫叫做老公，你的老公，我老公，这里人有这里人的语调，虽然都是炎黄子孙，同文同种。（《灵山》第一章）
On the other hand, a married woman calls her own husband laogong, yet your laogong and my laogong are both used. People here speak with a unique intonation even though they are descendants of the same legendary emperor and are of the same culture and race.
评：“你的老公，我老公”是举例说明女人怎么称呼自己和别人的丈夫，将其算为另一短句，不太妥当。又用有转折义和保留义的 yet 与前部分相连，更不对了。
九、这里
北方，这季节，已经是深秋。这里，暑热却并未退尽。太阳在落山之前，依然很有热力，照在身上，脊背也有些冒汗。（《灵山》第一章）
In the North it is already late autumn but the summer heat hasn't completely subsided. Before sunset, it is still quite hot in the sun and sweat starts running down your back.
评：似应在 summer heat 前或后加here，以跟“北方”对比。
十、内宾
连接待外国人专收外汇券的宾馆和只凭介绍信接待内宾的招待所和疗养院，更别说那些相争拉客的私人小客店，都以这块宝地的名字为标榜。（《灵山》第一章）
......and the name of the place is used in the trade names of all the "foreign exchange currency only" hotels for foreigners, the "locals with references only" hostels and sanatoriums, and of course the small private hotels competing for customers.
评：“内宾”可以是 locals （当地人），也可以是中国别的地方的人。
十一、名人题字
这里想必早晚也逃不脱这种盛况。你总算乘那些鲜艳夺目的亭台楼阁尚未修建，赶在记者的照相机和名人题字之前，你不免暗自庆幸，同时，又有些疑惑。（《灵山》第一章）
Sooner or later this place will also boom. but you're here before they put up the gaudy pavilions and terraces, before the reporters come with their cameras and before the celebrities come to put up plaques with their calligraphy. You can't help feeling rather pleased with yourself, and yet you're anxious.
评：“名人题字”不一定就是 the celebrities come to put up plaques with their calligraphy，名人也可以把题字从外地寄来、捎来。况且，“名人题字”应该跟“记者的照相机”并列，都是名词短语。可译为 celebrities' calligraphy。
十二、依稀可辨
清风徐来，凉爽而适意，石桥架在宽阔的河面上，桥上虽然是柏油路面，两边斑驳的石柱子上刻的猴子还依稀可辨，肯定很有一番年代了。（《灵山》第一章）
After that you come to a stone bridge: no body odour here, just a cool, refreshing breeze. The bridge spanning the broad river has a bitumen surface but the carved monkeys on the worn stone posts testify to its long history.
评：“依稀可辨”是否可译为 barely visible？
十三、两趟
桥头摆着两趟小吃摊子。你在左边吃一碗豆腐脑，那种细嫩可口作料齐全走街串巷到处叫卖一度绝迹如今又父业子传的豆腐脑，你在右边又吃了两个从炉膛里现夹出来热呼呼香喷喷的芝麻葱油烧饼，你还又在，在哪一边已经弄不清楚了，吃了一颗颗比珍珠大不了许多甜滋滋的酒酿元宵。（《灵山》第一章）
Two food stalls stand at the end of the bridge. In the one on the left you eat a bowl of bean curd, the smooth and tasty kind with all the right ingredients. Hawkers used to sell it in the streets and lanes but it completely disappeared for quite some years and has recently been revived as family enterprises. In the stall on the right you eat two delicious sesame-coated shallot pancakes, straight off the stove and piping-hot. Then at one of the stalls, you can't remember which, you eat a bowl of sweet yuanxiao dumplings broiled in rice wine. They are the size of large pearls.
评：“两趟小吃摊子”是两行小吃摊子，应该译为 two rows of food stalls。这点清楚以后，后面就好懂了。另外，中间没有标点的“那种鲜嫩可口.....父业子传的”修饰语，在英文中，也可以跟被修饰的“豆腐脑”放在一起。
十四、把什么压在了竹席子底下？
一床灰棉线毯子，不知是洗不干净还就是它本色，你压在竹席子底下，扔开了油腻的枕头，好在天热，你不必铺盖。（《灵山》第一章）
The cotton blanket is a suspicious grey - either it hasn't been washed properly or that's the original colour. You throw aside the greasy pillow from under the bamboo mat and luckily it's hot so you can do without the bedding.
评：“压在竹席子底下”的，是“毯子”。而“枕头”只是被“扔开”，没有被从竹席子底下拉出来。
十五、冲动
［你好久没有睡在这样的帐顶下了，你也早过了望着帐项可以睁眼暇想或是做梦的年纪，］今天不知道明天会有什么冲动，该见识的你都＆#0; [sic] 一领教了，你还要找寻什么？（《灵山》第一章）
Today, you can't know what traumas tomorrow will bring. You've learnt through experience everything you need to know. What else are you looking for?
评：“冲动”不是 traumas（创伤；心灵的创伤）。意思接近“激动”，可以翻译成 excitement 或者 impulse。
十六、有得吃喝
“敬灶神爷呢，多亏的他，我们才有得吃喝，”他说。（第二章）
"Thats for the God of the Cooking Stove, it's thanks to him that we can eat and drink," he says.
评：“有得吃喝”是不是 have things to eat and drink？
十七、颧骨
跳动的火光映照着他削瘦的面颊，高高的鼻梁和颧骨。（第二章）
The dancing light of the fire shines on his thin cheeks, the high bridge of his nose, and his cheekbones.
评：鼻梁和颧骨都高。如果说“胖胖的手和胳膊”，难道不是手和胳膊都胖吗？
十八、跳歌庄的
这山里还有没有跳歌庄的？他说他就会跳，早先是围着火塘，男男女女，一跳通宵达旦，后来取缔了。（第二章）
Do traditional song masters and dancers still exist here? He says he’s one of them. The men and women all used to form a circle around the fire and dance right through to daybreak, but later on it was banned.
评：masters who can do ring dance.
十九、后来就没有人唱了
“后来就没人唱了。现今又开始跳起来，不过，现今的年轻人会的不多，我还教过他们。”（第二章）
"No-one sings those anymore. People are doing the dances again but not many of the young people can do them, I'm teaching the dances to some of them."
评：“后来就没人唱了”还是过去的事，英译文应用过去时态。用现在时，跟下句“现今又开始跳起来”矛盾。
二十、回避
他还能念好多咒语，是猎人进山时使的法术，叫黑山法，或是叫邪术。他并不回避，他确信这种咒语能把野兽赶进设下的陷阱，或是让它踏上安的套子。（第二章）
He also knows incantations, the kind hunters use when they go into the mountains. They are called mountain black-magic or hexes and he has no qualms about using them. He really believes they can drive wild animals into pits or get them to step into snares.
评：他“不回避”的不是法术，而是告诉“我”他的想法。
二十一、绝境
破不了这法，脚就是迈不出这一步，就不断走回头路。于是，到天亮才发现不过在原地转圈。这还算好的，更糟的还能把人引向绝境，那就是死亡。（第二章）
If the spell isn’t broken the person’s feet don’t move forward and even if he keeps walking, he stays exactly where he started off. Only at daybreak does he discover that he has been going around in circles. That’s not so bad, the worst is when a person is led into a blind-alley: that means death.
评：译为 blind-alley (blind alley) 会使读者以为是走进真的死胡同。可改为 led to a hopeless situation。
二十二、这样而非那样
在我那个环境里，人总教导我生活是文学的源泉，文学又必须忠于生活，忠于生活的真实。而我的错误恰恰在于我脱离了生活，因而便违背了生活的真实，而生活的真实则不等于生活的表象，这生活的真实或者说生活的本质本应该是这样而非那样。而我所以违背了生活的真实就囚为我只罗列了生活中一系列的现象，当然不可能正确反映生活，结果只能走上歪曲现实的歧途。（第二章）
In those contaminated surroundings I was taught that life was the source of literature, that literature had to be faithful to life, faithful to real life. My mistake was that I had alienated myself from life and ended up turning my back on real life. However, real life is not the same as manifestations of life. Real life, or in other words the basic substance of life, should be the former and not the latter. I had gone against real life because I was simply stringing together life’s manifestations, so of course I wasn’t able to accurately portray life and in the end only succeeded in distorting reality.
评：“生活的真实或者说生活的本质本应该是这样而非那样”中的“这样”和“那样”是虚指，即“某一种情况”，并不是指上文中谈到的具体情况。用 the former and not the latter 让人以为是上文谈的情况。
二十三、这结论
他倒是挺坦诚，让我自己对比着看我先后拍的那两张全胸片，左肺第二肋间一块模糊的阴影蔓延到了气管壁。即使把左肺叶全部摘除也无济于事，这结论不言自明。（第二章）
He was quite frank and got me to compare the two chest X-rays taken on two separate occasions: a blurry shadow on the left lobe of the lung had spread along the second rib to the wall of the windpipe. It wouldn’t help even to have the whole of the left lobe removed. The outcome was obvious.
评：“这结论”是大夫通过检查所做的结论，不是病情发展的结果（outcome）。“这结论不言自明”应该是 that conclusion is self-evident。