Q
quick_phoenix
Talking to A Stranger
By Bryan Roscoe
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and let the whole world think you are a
fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
-- An Old Proverb
There may be something to the old saying above. Whether you are communica-ting in your native language or your second or third foreign language it is wise to consider what you are going to say before you make a fool of yourself. It is better to think and plan before you speak or write.
Communication experts agree that the best communicators are those that plan well ahead. "Pulitzer Prize--winning columnist William Safire writes political columns for The New York Times. When planning how to organize your thoughts in writing,says Safire, use a combination of your experience, intuition, and common sense."
* What Safire recommends applies as well to peaking as it does to writing. John Campbell of the BBC recommends,
You would not go on a journey without a fairly good idea of where you were going, how you were traveling and when you ought to arrive. You would know the major landmarks along the way and would be able to tell if your travel plans were going wrong. Going on a journey is a good analogy for the process of presenting information.**
John Campbell's analogy is meant to illustrate that you would not go vacation without a very clear plan and neither should you set off on a conversation without clearly knowing what it is you want to say and how you are going to say it.
To help you along the way consider creating your message very carefully. Keep in mind that if you want to become a better communicator in your second (or indeed your first) language you cannot expect others to do all the communicating for you.
You will have to begin a conversation and help them to understand you by thinking about your purpose and listener, telling the listener what to expect, use concrete and specific language, stick to the point, connect new information to existing ideas, and use emphasis to give emotional colour to your words.
The first step is to define your purpose for speaking. Why am I speaking to this new person? Do you want some information? A date? Some help? Make a new friend? What do you want your listener to do or know as a consequence? Do you want them to like you? Buy your dinner? Help you improve your ability to communicate? Once you have answered these questions which are both general and specific you can begin to design a message that will give you a feeling of having communicated well. Before this can happen, of course, you need to know something about the other person. Where are they from? What do they need to know? Try to find out more about them by putting yourself in their position using your common sense and imagination. Don't expect them to communicate with you just for the sake of communicating.
After you have their needs identified you can launch them on their journey toward an intended destination. As they travel,you must be their guide, providing them with a map of the territory they will cover. Tell them from the outset what they can expect to gain from the trip. Let them know the purpose of the message. Don't suddenly introduce strange topics that they might not be
ready for. If people know the basic framework of your message, they can pick it up without getting lost.
You must use concrete and specific language if you are to communicate well. You cannot approach a person and begin talking about abstract concepts such as love and hate, politics and religion. Stick to ideas that are specific and based on real experience.
You can also help your listener by not hanging topics so often and so quickly that he or she cannot follow the thread of your reasoning. it happens very often that second language learners come to the end of topic rather quickly and then give up and jump to another, leaving the listener wondering what happened. When you are thinking about what to say first, think about how to end
the conversation and begin a new one.
The mind absorbs information by organizing it into mental files. If you want the stranger you are talking to to understand and remember new ideas, you have to indicate how those ideas are related to the files that already exist in her
or his mind. When a stranger comes to China everything is new and he or she is busy trying to connect these new people and places to old ones. You can help by making yourself aware of, in this case, Western culture.
Finally, think about how you are going to call attention to the most important parts of your message. You can do this with words, body language and emphasis. When you come to an important idea, say so. This way you wake people up and keep them awake.
Planning what you are going to say and how is the most effective way of making yourself a wiser and more effective communicator.
* Thill, John V. and Courtland L. Bovee Excellence in Business Communication, Second Edition. McGraw-Hill: New York,1993
**Campbell, John Speak for Yourself, BBC Books: London 1990
By Bryan Roscoe
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and let the whole world think you are a
fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
-- An Old Proverb
There may be something to the old saying above. Whether you are communica-ting in your native language or your second or third foreign language it is wise to consider what you are going to say before you make a fool of yourself. It is better to think and plan before you speak or write.
Communication experts agree that the best communicators are those that plan well ahead. "Pulitzer Prize--winning columnist William Safire writes political columns for The New York Times. When planning how to organize your thoughts in writing,says Safire, use a combination of your experience, intuition, and common sense."
* What Safire recommends applies as well to peaking as it does to writing. John Campbell of the BBC recommends,
You would not go on a journey without a fairly good idea of where you were going, how you were traveling and when you ought to arrive. You would know the major landmarks along the way and would be able to tell if your travel plans were going wrong. Going on a journey is a good analogy for the process of presenting information.**
John Campbell's analogy is meant to illustrate that you would not go vacation without a very clear plan and neither should you set off on a conversation without clearly knowing what it is you want to say and how you are going to say it.
To help you along the way consider creating your message very carefully. Keep in mind that if you want to become a better communicator in your second (or indeed your first) language you cannot expect others to do all the communicating for you.
You will have to begin a conversation and help them to understand you by thinking about your purpose and listener, telling the listener what to expect, use concrete and specific language, stick to the point, connect new information to existing ideas, and use emphasis to give emotional colour to your words.
The first step is to define your purpose for speaking. Why am I speaking to this new person? Do you want some information? A date? Some help? Make a new friend? What do you want your listener to do or know as a consequence? Do you want them to like you? Buy your dinner? Help you improve your ability to communicate? Once you have answered these questions which are both general and specific you can begin to design a message that will give you a feeling of having communicated well. Before this can happen, of course, you need to know something about the other person. Where are they from? What do they need to know? Try to find out more about them by putting yourself in their position using your common sense and imagination. Don't expect them to communicate with you just for the sake of communicating.
After you have their needs identified you can launch them on their journey toward an intended destination. As they travel,you must be their guide, providing them with a map of the territory they will cover. Tell them from the outset what they can expect to gain from the trip. Let them know the purpose of the message. Don't suddenly introduce strange topics that they might not be
ready for. If people know the basic framework of your message, they can pick it up without getting lost.
You must use concrete and specific language if you are to communicate well. You cannot approach a person and begin talking about abstract concepts such as love and hate, politics and religion. Stick to ideas that are specific and based on real experience.
You can also help your listener by not hanging topics so often and so quickly that he or she cannot follow the thread of your reasoning. it happens very often that second language learners come to the end of topic rather quickly and then give up and jump to another, leaving the listener wondering what happened. When you are thinking about what to say first, think about how to end
the conversation and begin a new one.
The mind absorbs information by organizing it into mental files. If you want the stranger you are talking to to understand and remember new ideas, you have to indicate how those ideas are related to the files that already exist in her
or his mind. When a stranger comes to China everything is new and he or she is busy trying to connect these new people and places to old ones. You can help by making yourself aware of, in this case, Western culture.
Finally, think about how you are going to call attention to the most important parts of your message. You can do this with words, body language and emphasis. When you come to an important idea, say so. This way you wake people up and keep them awake.
Planning what you are going to say and how is the most effective way of making yourself a wiser and more effective communicator.
* Thill, John V. and Courtland L. Bovee Excellence in Business Communication, Second Edition. McGraw-Hill: New York,1993
**Campbell, John Speak for Yourself, BBC Books: London 1990
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