谢
谢云
There are certain constants in the end of each relationship. Usually, one person wants out, leaving the other to feel betrayed, hurt, afraid, lonely, rejected. Just like when you first met - that certain look, the night you kissed for the first time, that deep longing to see the other person when again when the date ended ... we can no more control how we feel when we fall in love, than we can when we fall out of love. What often attracts two people can be the straw that ultimately separates them. Even marriages that last 20, 30, 40 years have their periods where one partner has fallen out of love with the other. They may still "love" them, but the feeling of being in love disappears from time to time, only to be discovered once again. You cannot blame someone for how they feel. It is an involuntary response to a situation, or a history.
Trying to figure out what went wrong only deepens the pain. What if I did this, or if only I did that. It doesn't matter. When one feels it is time to leave the relationship, when only one is left to fight for it, it becomes a lost cause. We lash out only to try to protect ourselves from the hurt and the uncertainty. People stay in unhappy relationships all the time - simply because they believe it is better to be together with someone and unhappy than to face an unknown future alone. But that is not being fair to either person. It is being selfish, and only shows the insecurities you hold within. You must be honest with yourself first and foremost. It is amazing how many people want what they have lost, when they were uncertain if they wanted it when they had it.
When a relationship ends, you need time to mourn. In many ways it is worse than if your partner died. By leaving they are saying they don't love you, they don't want to be with you anymore, and the truth of that rejection can be extremely hard to deal with. So how does one survive? Give yourself the time to grieve for what has been lost. Your life is about to change, even though you did not want it to. Look at it as a new beginning, not an end to something that was wonderful. If it ended, it wasn't wonderful. It may have been comfortable, but that is something completely different. Be grateful for the time you spent together. There was a time when the two of you were in love. Yes, there was a time when they loved you. It was not all bad. But people change, jsut as our bodies change through the years. Sometimes we simply grow in different directions. Learn from it, and become a better person. Each relationship teaches us more of what we really want from a partner. Remember the feeling of excitement when you first met them - how you couldn't wait to see them, how they were in your thoughts all the time. And realize that you are going to experience that feeling again. Do not take it as a personal assault, no matter how much it feels like it is. They have changed too, and want something different. Not necessarily better, just different. And now you are free to take the time to determine what direction your life will take. Enjoy this freedom. We give it up so easliy when we find that someone special. I becomes we. But for now, you have the opportunity to rediscover all that makes you happy.
Trying to figure out what went wrong only deepens the pain. What if I did this, or if only I did that. It doesn't matter. When one feels it is time to leave the relationship, when only one is left to fight for it, it becomes a lost cause. We lash out only to try to protect ourselves from the hurt and the uncertainty. People stay in unhappy relationships all the time - simply because they believe it is better to be together with someone and unhappy than to face an unknown future alone. But that is not being fair to either person. It is being selfish, and only shows the insecurities you hold within. You must be honest with yourself first and foremost. It is amazing how many people want what they have lost, when they were uncertain if they wanted it when they had it.
When a relationship ends, you need time to mourn. In many ways it is worse than if your partner died. By leaving they are saying they don't love you, they don't want to be with you anymore, and the truth of that rejection can be extremely hard to deal with. So how does one survive? Give yourself the time to grieve for what has been lost. Your life is about to change, even though you did not want it to. Look at it as a new beginning, not an end to something that was wonderful. If it ended, it wasn't wonderful. It may have been comfortable, but that is something completely different. Be grateful for the time you spent together. There was a time when the two of you were in love. Yes, there was a time when they loved you. It was not all bad. But people change, jsut as our bodies change through the years. Sometimes we simply grow in different directions. Learn from it, and become a better person. Each relationship teaches us more of what we really want from a partner. Remember the feeling of excitement when you first met them - how you couldn't wait to see them, how they were in your thoughts all the time. And realize that you are going to experience that feeling again. Do not take it as a personal assault, no matter how much it feels like it is. They have changed too, and want something different. Not necessarily better, just different. And now you are free to take the time to determine what direction your life will take. Enjoy this freedom. We give it up so easliy when we find that someone special. I becomes we. But for now, you have the opportunity to rediscover all that makes you happy.
